jealousy!

there are not much work to do 

in the early days of 2nd sem

so i have been walking around

the blogs..

the facebook..

trying khatam my running man series

stalking other peoples profile and pictures

and i got this feeling 

when i was stalking here and there

i am JEALOUS!

what can make me jealous?

guess what..

im being jealous to my friends who already married

yes..i am jealous that some of them

already had a baby

they look happier with families beside them

taking pictures with their baby

and hubby of course

but then i think about myself

would i be a good wife then?

would i be a good mummy to my children?

here come the bigger question

am i ready to hold such a big responsibilities??

being a daughter..a wife.. and a student at the same time?

for Allah sake.

i wanna get married

yes!

i know that you may think that im still young

not matured

etc etc etc...

ya know.. i wanna move my relationship to the next step

make it legal

make it full with bless

plus it is a good thing

why i should be afraid 

i just have to prove to everybody

i am matured enough to hold the responsibilities

i am determined enough to make this become reality

and 

i am powerful enough to overcome the obstacles 

that may come in future

i believe that it has to start with myself

so im in process to change myself

muhasabah diri sebanyak mungkin

get myself ready

mentally and physically

this is not one-night-stand relationship

get some readings and opinions 

about the early marriage process..

and to conclude everything

i have to be ready!

insyaallah..please pray for my success..

chayok Qidd!