rindu

Assalamualaikum

I do wanna write something from time to time, but I don’t have much time.. busy with the PSM thingy..I need to pedal harder just to finish all this bullshit..

But now, right at this moment.. I feel so much pain in my heart

I guessed I miss my mom so much.. I really wish that she’s still here with me.. I've been through a lot of hell..but I have no one to share.. not actually no one, but not the one that I want to share.. I used to share with her.. we shared everything.. and I kinda miss that moment .. it had been 4 years since the last time I talked to her.. hug her.. kiss her.. and.. hmm

I had lost one of the greatest god’s gift..  

Sometime, I dreamed about her.. in my dream, I know that she’s already gone.. but I pretend like it never happen.. and usually if I dreamt of her.. I will tell her everything that I wanna share.. and she was like.. “ ibu tahu, kakak " in the dream also, she knows that she actually doesn't exist..

There’s one time, I dreamt that I was coming home from JB.. then as I entered my house.. I heard someone was cooking.. I went to the kitchen and I saw my mom.. she’s cooking something.. then I just hugged her so tight.. and she ask me “ kenapa ni kakak” I cried on her shoulder.. I was actually crying for real that night..

I know she’s watching over me ..

I know even though we are in different world.. she’s still here with me..

I'm just.. arghhhh.. everything are so damn fucking stressful

I wish I can just come home and hug my mom

I wish..

I better get my shit together now.. wipe the tears.. put up that big fat smile.. act like im the happiest living homo sapien!

Happy mother’s day ibu..kakak rindu ibu.. 

p/s : ibu, can i call u? I need to talk to you :'(